| Smash The Canvas:
So you want to be a writer?
I can't say I blame you. After all, successful writers can lead glamorous lives of obscurity suffering from schizophrenia and alcoholism, among other things.
"But," you ask yourself, "what if no one likes my writing? What if I end up doing all this hard work (And yes, believe me, writing is hard work.) for nothing? What if I live the rest of my live in abject misery because I'm a failure? What if it becomes apparent that I'm an incompetent, degenerate scumbag who has nothing to live for?"
I understand exactly how you feel.
Ever since I was a child, I have wanted a successful artistic career. First, I wanted to be an animator. I later found out how much work the profession entails. I quickly gave up that dream and subsequently shifted my focus to becoming a comic artist and writer. When it finally became apparent to me that I could not draw, I settled for being just a writer, foolishly believing, as before, that this path would be incredibly easy.
As you can surmise, I once held a lot of misconceptions about illustration related professions. Misconceptions that were shattered as I learned more about them.
And I learned something else.
I can't write.
I know, I know, I shouldn't dump on myself, especially on my own site. I should let my work stand on its own and allow you to judge it for yourselves. But seriously, I can't write.
The last of my gross misconceptions about working in the animation, cartoon, and comic industries had finally been shattered.
And so I gave up.
I thought that my place in life must lie elsewhere. And I endeavoured, without success, to find it.
But my mind always went back to writing. I have long since given up all hope of being able to draw, at least professionally, but I have always wanted to write.
Why, you might ask, do I still, after all this hardship and failure, still foolishly strive towards my goal of being a writer?
Because I realized that I will go crazy(ier) if I don't.
As I said, I have, ever since I was capable of having such a desire, always wanted to be a writer. I am almost always thinking about writing and my ideas. If I were to give up writing, forever, I would, for the rest of my life, be haunted by thoughts of what could have been, disappointment, self-hatred, depression.
I think the same is true of anyone who has a dream they are passionate about.
And so I think the best thing to do is, depsite all odds, try your best.
I would like to share a very appropriate quote from Theodore Roosevelt:
"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."
I think that, if you are having doubts about persuing your dream, you should take that to heart.
I have heard it said that artists, when they are ready to commence the act of creation, tend to have a perfectly canvassed vision of what they want their work to be, and that the putting of pen to paper, hands to instrument, brush to canvas, is the first step towards destroying that vision as no artist can perfectly reproduce their vision.
I think there is some truth to that.
Free yourself from your doubts and insecurity.
Smash the canvas. |
